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Meanwhile, back at the full house, Jesse tries to make an impression on Alison that he’s not a complete piece of shit and then Joey somehow manages to accidentally pelt her with salad.

He’s been making a lot of fumbling mistakes because he’s so nervous around her, but that still doesn’t really explain how he manages to throw salad all over her like that.

Alison excuses herself and then Joey pleads with Jesse to prove that he can be respectful towards women during the dinner so that he can fuck her. Stephanie buys some stupid teen magazine and reads a bunch of rules about first dates to DJ and Kimmie Gibbler.

Stephanie and Kimmie Gibbler talk hella shit to each other as Stephanie reads a bunch of idealistic dating tips that will inevitably lead to disappointment.

To top it off, Jesse performs an advertisement for a clothing store and suggests that if women can’t find the proper fit there, they should lose some weight. See, I told y’all that that’s what would happen if she was ever on the show again!

What other storyline could there ever be for a woman boss?

Alison is officially my favorite character ever now.

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